you and your character are a product not only of what happened to you, but also of the first truest version of you that your conscience has a memory of - this being the inner child. by incorporating many practices and noticing that part of myself i have been feeling safer and more at peace than ever.
what could stem from not recognising your inner child?
many many “states of the psyche” like anxiety, fear of abandonment, overthinking and other products of the mind that are connected with the nonexistent future and past (as i have stated the only real time is the present for me). this could happen because of neglect of this inner child of yours and its needs.
what are its needs?
is a question that is personal, but it usually originates from childhood trauma or unspoken yearnings. let’s say you have always felt like you were never enough as a child, therefore you can’t expect to people to value your time and energy in the present. what your inner child needs is recognition and a simple “bravo! good job! ” that it never had - that way it wouldn’t speak through your present version.
how to get in touch with your inner child?
this is process that involves a lot of visualisation so there is no wrong or right way, but this is how i have visualised it for myself and works the best.
1.create the image of your most vulnerable inner child version - you can play with your imagination and exaggerate some of its features because later on you will have to heal it and they will have ti go. for example you can see yourself as this extremely weak and crying child or this fat and angry kid. the important thing is to note the characteristics that you don’t like about yourself
2.visualise this child in front of you and hear what it has to say - try to imagine what bothers it or what makes them the way they are , what does it need
3.accept this child as your own- the moment you love this child as unconditionally as possible and accept them for who they are , a connection will be made - a connection for a lifetime that you will have to revisit
4.hear it out and listen to what they have to say - that way you can be prepared for the last step
5.validate its needs and comfort it- simply by giving it what it needs. it may be a big hug a motivational speech or just presence
6.leave them be and make sure you realise that this is not you anymore and try to take care and of this version of you - so next time you come to visit it it is in a better state
other ways to validate your inner child but not give it the power to act through you are:
* buying your favourite childhood snack
* tell it to calm down whenever you see that you are acting through your past
* giving it compliments
* do what you used to love doing as a little kid
* skip through the park
* be cringe and yourself as often as possible
* seek good be prepared for bad with a smile
* be present
to sum up
your connection with your inner child is of utmost importance when it comes to healing. knowing that you’ve got your own back and all your wishes could be met from within, makes everything around you feel healthier. you are not projecting your subconscious needs and are available to act from your true self and not from ego, which is connected to your inner child and what it has been taught through the years. again the conclusion is to be present and observe yourself and that inner child of yours, while giving it love as if it’s your own child(which practically is)